Pleather Should be Outlawed

First of all, unless your Rhianna or Madonna or going on Jerry Springer's show, you should never, NEVER wear leather pants. Leather pants take a level of confidence (and small thighs) that most people do not have.

Today, I followed a lady through the grocery store, listening to the crackles and screeches of her obviously not leather, really tight pants. Her outfit was complimented by a muffin top the size of Manhattan and a knit winter hat with a large multicolored pom-pom. A daring ensemble, yes, I will give her kudos for that. I like people that march to their own drummer, but this poor soul was sadly out of step.

I'm no fashion model. I wear thrift store clothes, which means sometimes I'm really put together, but other times, it's Levis and a long sleeved t-shirt (the suburban mom uniform). I feel guilty for judging this woman. Perhaps she is soon to appear on What Not to Wear. I hope so. Maybe I was on one of Jon Quiniones hidden camera, what would you do, would you step in and help the baby trapped in the car kind of stories. Would you inform this woman that she's making a fool of herself in too tight pleather pants?

Apparently, in this case, I wouldn't step in.

At some point, when you're overweight, you have to decide whether to venture into the big gals section of the store. This woman was obviously in need of taking this trip. Here's the deal girls. No one can see the size on the tag of your clothing unless they know you really well or are somewhere they shouldn't be (or their doing your laundry, and in that case, I say, look all you want). If you need to rip the tag out to feel better, go for it, but BUY THE RIGHT SIZE. Honestly, ladies, you will look thinner in the right size than you will in the size you want to be, but should not be stuffing yourself into.

In her honor, I made some fruit leather, the only leather you should have in your house that isn't furniture or shoes. Fruit leather is a great way to use up ripe fruit. This time around, I made Apple Mango. Pear, berry, and just plain apple are other favorites at our house. You can buy individually packaged fruit leather in the health food section of your store (NOT FRUIT ROLL UPS. THOSE ARE NOT FRUIT. THEY'RE CANDY OR GREAT FOR FIXING LEAKY PIPES). Purchased fruit leather runs about seventy cents for a one by four inch piece. Why not make it yourself?

It's not Pleather it's Fruit Leather

Chewy, sweet, and packed with good for you stuff like vitamins and minerals and all that junk. Points depends on what fruit you use.

I'm not even going to put this into recipe format. It's really so easy. Take some fruit, peel it or don't. Take out pits and seeds and cores and all that stuff that you don't eat. Roughly chop and place in a pan. Cook with a little water until soft. Puree in a food processor. Most of the time I just stick my hand mixer in and blend it up, leaving it a bit chunky. I guess you can make it without cooking the fruit, but I always cook it. Then put it on low heat in your oven or in your food dehydrator (I use a dehydrator that we got for our wedding that we surprisingly use quite often.) until dry, but still flexible. Cut in pieces and wrap individually if you must, or just cut it and put in a zip bag.