Please Don't Pronounce this Like Something Dirty

Ever have a grocery checkout person comment on everything that you buy? Seriously lady, can't you just keep your comments to yourself? Aren't the maxi pads, nine pounds of chocolate, and four cans of Pringles telling you that you should just tiptoe around this PMS-ing customer?

I had Debbie the Death Clerk the other day. She's slow. She comments on all the "weird" produce that I buy (like artichokes are from another planet). And she seems to take great pleasure in trying to figure out what our weekly menu is. Chicken breasts, onions, tortillas, and stoplight peppers. Fajitas? Yep, we have a winner.

I think it's the incessant beep of the scanner that lulls some clerks into losing it. Maybe it's the fact that they touch our personals that makes them think they have the right to judge, comment, or whatever. Personally, I like a cheery clerk that pays no attention the fact that we cleared the bakery shelves of frosted donuts and that the only thing resembling a vegetable in our cart is corn flakes. This clerk will make pleasant Minnesotan chat about the weather (the universally safe Scandinavian topic of conversation).

But, we got Debbie the other day. And Debbie makes lots of loud comments and seems to enjoy guessing what we're going to make at home. As she did so, I watched the guy behind me with hemorrhoid cream, a case of beer, and a Star magazine head for another lane. I'm sure he anticipated the question, "Up for a big evening?" and he just couldn't take it.

Debbie had a butterfly sticker on her nametag and a banana clip in her hair (haven't seen one of those since the early 90s.) I was so fixated on the banana clip, I almost missed her mispronounciation of fajitas. Not fah-hee-tahs, but more like a part of the female anatomy.

You know those moments when the world slows down and you feel like you're in a white hot spotlight and everyone's looking. Well, it wasn't my moment, it was Debbie's. And she had no idea that she was the star.

Yes, Debbie we're having Fah-heee-TAHS for dinner. And you, my dear, are not.

This is the best fajita marinade. We love it on chicken, but I'm sure flank steak would be delightful too. I always make several batches and freeze them. Then add the meat and marinate in the fridge. Yum.

Fajita Marinade

1/4 cup lime juice

1 tsp olive oil

4 cloves garlic, minced

2 tsp soy sauce

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp liquid smoke

1/2 tsp cayenne pepper

1/4 tsp black pepper

Mix all in a zip bag, use assembly line method* to make more than one at a time. Freeze until ready to use. Add chicken breasts or lean beef. Marinate at least 8 hours.

* Place zip bags upright and open in glasses or jars. Add one ingredient to each bag, moving down the assembly line. Remove from glasses and seal, removing as much air as possible. Freeze until ready to use. Then applaud yourself for being a perfect example of prime mommy time management and look around to see if Martha Stewart is envious.