I'm Not a Twit

So, I twied to Twitter, but it just didn't work for me. I mean, really, shouldn't you just be living your life and not sending little blurbs out to the world? Like we care if you're getting coffee or using the bathroom. Also, there's something about the word that could be utilized to describe the past tense of to twit that I just know would slip into my vocabulary at some inopportune time. Like say, at church. (Think hard, think really hard, and then if you still don't get it, slip an a where the i should be in twit. And then thank me if you had a little laugh.)

So, if I was a Twit, this is what you would have seen scrolling past my screen:

• Buying school shoes for someone who just doesn't want to go back to school





• Standing outside the barber shop while the boys get their hair cut. I am not allowed in the man cave. Apparently, the high levels of testosterone made apparent by all the male patterned baldness present, would knock me into oblivion. That and they couldn't scratch themselves, talk about killing animals, or contemplate the perfection of a field goal in front of me. Man rules, who knew?





• Last minute emergency back to school laundry.





• Cleaning, yet another, closet for our garage sale.





• Cleaning out the attic, but not really. D is cleaning out the attic, I'm catching the refuge and refusing to climb the rickety stairs.





• Marking stuff for the garage sale while counseling Young One about the realities of home school ("If you want to be home schooled, your first project would be cleaning out the attic. That would be gym, health, and history.")





• Chasing various 11 year old boys as they go through the revolving door that is now my home.





• Answering the phone, it rings endlessly these days.





• Contemplating just why I'm having a garage sale around back to school time.





• Avoiding having to chaperone a middle school dance.





• Trying to hide the items that my generous mother has given me amongst the garage sale stuff without her seeing them. Sorry mom. Love ya to death, have too much stuff.





• Inhaling permanent marker while making signs.





• Celebratory back to school girl's brunch. Ahh. Adult conversation.





• Neighbor chat in the street while the kids are playing.





• Waiting for the first day of school bus, which came only after we got in the car to self deliver our new middle schooler! (25 minutes late, come on!)





• Trying to convince said bus driver that he could deviate from the middle of the block drop off when the two kids he drops off on our street live at the end of the block. grrr. Maybe cookies will help tomorrow.





• Listening to new school lingo like, "Chip"(slang for the school's name), "Deans", "Locker combo", "I had a pass."





• Realizing that I am completely and utterly embarrassing no matter what I do, say, or look like to my child. Realizing that at one point, this too shall pass.





• Chasing a sleepwalker. For the love of God, this child has never slept through the night.

I could go on and on, but this is such a busy time. It is for every mom.

Garage Sale tomorrow through Saturday. Hope all the work was worth it.

Happy Back to School Parents!