Desperation Marination

Usually at the beginning of the summer, right before school lets out, I make a ton of marinades and put them in the freezer or I organize a Marinade Exchange, like a Christmas cookie exchange. This year, I didn't get either done.

This summer has been nuts. We haven't had one full day at home yet. My house is a complete pit. My garden has weeds that could double as produce (that of course the rabbits and deer don't touch!) and I've been grabbing the odd hours I can here and there to try to squeeze things in. Last night I found myself laying in the back yard at 9 pm, exhausted, and unable to get up. The boys had run to the bike store and to get some sand and river rock for the pool and water garden and I decided to play dead when they came home so I wouldn't have to help haul it from the car.

I could hear the dryer buzzing through the open windows and I knew if I didn't get the clothes out, Sam would have no shorts to wear the next day. But, I was able to Mom Rationalize that he could just wear his swimsuit or I'd get to them in the morning.

I came to with Sam peering over me with a mostly eaten giant bag of Peanut M&Ms saying, "I know you're not dead. You moved." Great. "SHE'S NOT DEAD, DAD." Bet the neighbors loved that.

And then I finally came to understand why that woman on the commercials who all these years has mystified me with her, "I've fallen and I can't get up." Aside from not falling, I was just like her. I couldn't get up. Now, it wasn't just that I was in fear that while I was sound asleep in the yard one of the dogs had left something undesirable for me to roll onto as I got up. Nope, it was middle age. It hit me right there in the yard.

Forty minutes later, I staggered upstairs, attempted to read, attempted to watch a little BBC news, and then attempted to shut D's bedside lamp off with mental telepathy. Didn't work. That's the last thing I remember.

Dire days like this require crisis cooking. This is a little marinade that was a success after a short streak of abysmal experimental cooking. (Don't ask, that's what ketchup is for.)

Candied Pork Chops

Now, bear with me because this seems a little weird, but we loved it. I figured that root beer and colas are featured in lots of bbq, why not try it in a marinade. I wouldn't attempt this on any other meat, well, maybe chicken. My experiments haven't gone that far yet.

Lean, center-cut, bone in pork chops, or pork loin chops, not too thick!---Now I'm getting inspired to slow cook this on a pork butt or cushion meat

One can or bottle of root beer

a good glug of Worcestershire sauce

hot sauce to taste

salt and pepper to taste

Marinate as long as you can. Remove chops and grill 5-7 minutes on each side until done. You could dump all in a bag and freeze it, thaw in the refrigerator when you're ready to use.