Slowing Down When You Want to Just Get it Done

I can't even tell you how much this blogger's post meant to me. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with all I needed to do. I had also just had a conversation with someone who made me feel like my work at home couldn't possibly be as rewarding as working outside the home. Funny that she seemed to forget that I used to be a Mompreneur, working 24/7 for my business. I've been on both sides of the Mommy Wars (working vs. working at home). Neither side is easier or harder (so stop fighting ladies).

Down to Earth is a blog that I just adore. It's author and her husband live in Australia and live a mindful, simple life. Her post The Secret Life of a Happy Homemaker was so wonderful. She talks about slowing down and being more present in your work.

I did just that yesterday and it made my day so much happier and productive. I couldn't believe it. Just focusing on the present and not worrying or thinking about all the things that I have to get done was wonderful. I think I worked better and I know I worked happier. I also took a lot more pleasure in the reward of seeing a job well done.

I've talked a lot about the relentlessness of the work of homemaking. When it gets down to it, I'm making a home: the place that my little family feels the happiest and most content. What better job could there be? I'm going to pay less attention to the relentlessness and more to the happy making.

Please check out Down to Earth. I think you'll really enjoy exploring her world. I am eternally grateful to her for giving me a new look at my life.

In her honor, I offer a recipe featuring a fruit that not only is she able to grow in her climate, BUT she took 2 years doing so!

Broiled Pineapple
One of my favorite fruits, pineapple tastes fantastic broiled or grilled. It caramelizes it's natural sugars and is delicious served right out of the oven. Serves 6 at 1 WW Point per serving. If you're like me and enjoy eating fresh pineapple often, you must invest in a Pineapple Corer and Slicer. You can have a pineapple ready to serve in just a few seconds!

1 large pineapple
2 teaspoons canola oil, divided
2 tablespoons brown sugar
Lime wedges

Peel pineapple. With a sharp knife, cut it crosswise into 1-inch-thick slices. Brush the slices lightly with 1 teaspoon oil and place in a single layer on a baking sheet. Broil until lightly browned, about 7 minutes. Turn slices over, brush with remaining teaspoon oil and broil for 5 to 7 minutes longer. Immediately sprinkle pineapple with brown sugar. Cut into chunks and serve with lime wedges.

NUTRITION INFORMATION: Per serving: 68 calories; 2 g fat (0 g sat, 1 g mono); 0 mg cholesterol; 14 g carbohydrate; 0 g protein; 1 g fiber; 1 mg sodium.; 90 mg potassium

Dinner in a Minute

We moms juggle. When I think about my life as a mom, I picture myself mentally, juggling. I've never mastered the skill of really juggling, I've tried several times and ended up once with a black eye from an apple (a brilliant episode in my life). Shortly after that I had to go to an emergency room for an unrelated problem. I was asked by no less than a dozen well-meaning medical people if I felt safe in my home. Number one it was a dorm, so really, the answer was no, but I didn't dare. Number two, I don't know how many times you can say, "I'm fine. I was attacked by fruit while attempting a circus act because my chemistry grade wasn't what it was supposed to be and I was looking into alternate careers."

When I later became a registered nurse and had to bumble my way through ER rotation, I found that most of workers had great senses of humor. Apparently, none of them were on duty that night.

I'm wandering again. It's all this juggling. It's like my brain is juggling and I'm madly typing to keep up with it and I can't quite make it and I really want to make a point, but

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Deep Breath.

I believe that moms do more than multi-task. Muti-tasking is for whimps. I mean, right now, I've got laundry tumbling, dinner bubbling, I'm on the phone with the laptop repair man, I'm writing, I'm carrying on an IM conversation with my husband, and I'm petting the dog with one foot and shoving Tech Decks under the couch with the other (Don't ask. I'm attempting to teach Young One the answer to what happens when you leave your teeny toy skateboards in an area where your mom, in bare feet will step on them while carrying a large load of laundry in a basket which will launch six feet in the air while she screams in pain and angst and watches several hours of folding and sock matching scatter on the floor of the family room. Yes, probably the best answer would be to have him help clean up the mess, but he wasn't going to be home for hours and I'm just waiting for him to ask, "Where are my Tech Decks?" And of course my response will be, "I have no idea. You'd better search the house.")

Where was I?

Oh yes, juggling.

Have you ever had one of those days where you're running around doing all the assorted things it takes to make a home a home and it's about a half an hour until dinner time and you have no idea what you're making? You know, those days when you:

• put the covers back on all the kitchen switches and outlets because they've been off for a project for forever


• find the replacement shoelace to a shoe because the first one was used to swing Spiderman across a room and didn't survive the trip


• menu plan while keeping within the budget and finding meals that your kid won't turn his nose up at (or you hubby either)


• fish Matchbox car parts out of the dryer vent (don't ask)


• try to figure out how to clean between that impossible to reach without moving the entire oven crack between the stove and the cabinets
  
• cut all the coupons that you've left in a pile to cut and then realize you didn't know about most of them when you were menu planning


• curse menu planning and coupons and anything else that has to do with trying to save money and budgeting and grocery shopping


• water the plants and accidentally water the dog requiring a towel and a milkbone for the dog and a mop for the floor


• decide once and for all that cleaning between the stove and the cabinets can happen when we need a new oven


• make some laundry detergent (this isn't as weird as it sounds, search under homemade cleaners and you'll find my powdered recipe) I made liquid today. More details later.


• wipe off the counters for the 400th time in one day


• bake a cake


• coordinate a playdate


• do at least 700 loads of laundry


• realize you forgot to renew the tabs on your car, so you quick run to the licensing office to take a number, wait in line, and then have them skip your number, so you have to make a scene to get service, and everyone in the office looks at you like you're completely looney.


• get home after receiving new license plates that look awfully funny because they're no longer embossed, but printed digitally, and learn that you can't get the bolts off the old license plate by yourself. And this pains you. Oh, it's awful, because you want to be an independent woman and really don't want to ask your husband to help you with something that he can easily do in five minutes and you curse your wimpy upper arm strength and vow to do more push ups and bicep curls and you'll lateral raise until your delts are steaming.
  
  
• Sort through the giant pile of mittens and gloves and hats and scarves and realize there are no matching pairs and the hats are all too small for Young One's winter wardrobe.
  
• Clean a bathroom.
  
• Walk with cleaning supplies into another bathroom and stand in a stupor wondering how two human beings can make such a mess in such a short time. Scowl at what looks at an entire tube of toothpaste in the sink. Wonder for two seconds how and why it's there. Entertain the thought of running away to Tahiti rather than cleaning it up. While cleaning it up, realize this is why Mrs. Cleaver took valium.
  
• Greet the child as he arrives home, hoping to appear like Mrs. Cleaver minus the apron and the valium.
  

I have to say, the meet and greet is one of the best parts of my day. I love to see Young One's first smile. I love to just listen, not ask a bunch of questions, but just listen to his day. I love to watch him devour a snack. When I had my business, I didn't get to have this precious time with him. I was too busy and too overwhelmed with all the work to be done that there was really only time for a quick hug and to get him settled before I had to head back to the desk. I do have to be thankful, though, that I rarely had to miss being the person he saw when he got off the bus. That was one perk of being a business owner--I set my own schedule!

Then, all of a sudden, the dinner hour is looming down on me. And with any luck, I've planned something and it's happily defrosted in the fridge. There are those days, though, when last minute dinner planning does happen. Thankfully, I usually have something around the house for just such a day. Sometimes it's breakfast for dinner, sometimes it's jazzed up sandwiches, sometimes frozen pizza and a tossed salad, sometimes the leftover buffet.

Pasta is almost always an option. This is one of our favorites. Don't try to juggle this recipe. It pretty much needs your entire attention for about 7 minutes. You can do it. Focus.

Shrimp Noodle Bowls

This recipe is quick to the table and delightfully delicious. Shrimp and pasta tossed with veggies in an Asian sauce. Please use your recipe builder to confirm Weight Watchers Points. It all depends on the ingredients you use. My recipe below is approximately 7 Points per serving and serves 6 generously.

1 box Ronzoni spaghetti (or other high fiber pasta)

1 bunch green onions, cleaned and chopped

1 bag broccoli cole slaw

1 16 ounce bag of medium-sized, cooked shrimp, thaw under cold, running water and drain well

Light Asian salad dressing--Ken's Steak House brand is great, Newman's Own is fab

Cook pasta as directed. Meanwhile, heat a skillet over medium high heat, spray with nonstick cooking spray, add onions and cook until tender. Remove from heat and set aside until pasta is done and draining. Place pan back on medium-high heat and add shrimp and broccoli slaw. Stir fry until crisp tender. Add noddles and toss to combine. Add Asian salad dressing, approximately 1/4 cup at a time, until noodles are coated and flavors are combined.

Add any veggies you have around. Peapods and red peppers would be delightful additions.

This is great with fresh mangoes topped with a little coconut for dessert.

The picture above is a delightful creation by ChimeraCrochet. Please visit her etsy store. I find her work filled with whimsy. She's very talented.

Free to a Good Home

I'm kidding. Kind of. Well, I did start writing the ad in my head. Hold on, full story ahead.

This is Tucker.

We don't know what he is. We adopted him from a rescue organization. He was one of fifteen puppies. He's supposedly a Rat Terrier. Which, as my neighbor says is a "very unfortunate name". You guessed it, she's not a dog person. We're pretty sure he has some Italian Greyhound in him. Whatever he is, he's fast. See his tail in the picture above? Well, it's wagging. It's always wagging. He's a happy dog. Loves people. He's always moving, and wagging, and wiggling, and loving people. Except when he's snuggled up next to one of us on one of his couches. They're no longer ours, we just get to rent space on them.

Anyway, here's another picture of him.

This is what he usually looks like: (And wow, look at the sad, post-frost state of my Hostas behind him. Ew.)

It's a brisk fall day here in Minnesota land. Sunny, the air smells like leaves and fall and apples, and the trees are glorious in their pre-winter fashion show. I've been cleaning the house all day. I mean, cleaning as in soaking the nonskid bath mat and taking a Q-tip to the shower stall doors. I don't know what's wrong with me. I should be jumping in leaf piles and skipping through an orchard with a quaint basket of apples that I just picked.

A peek or two at the dogs, while I was running around the house, had found them either comatose or laying in the sun in the back yard. We have a handy dandy dog door that makes it very convenient for them to go in and out a million times a day to chase squirrels and hopefully do their business.

This is what Tucker did today while supposedly scampering through the back yard:

And he did it several places in the yard. Not just digging, he was trenching. And I think the little beast wiped his paws before coming in because, thankfully, there are no muddy paws or tracks of dirt across the kitchen floor I also cleaned today (I'm not well, obviously.)

He's never dug before. Never even ventured into the sandbox that Young One now only uses when we mention getting rid of it. We do have a mole problem in the yard and I do distinctly remember a day last winter when he was trying to catch a mouse in our basement. He chased the dang thing upstairs and I spent the afternoon acting like a sissy ninny, sitting on the back of the couch while nervously laughing and crying into the phone to Hubby. (I'm rodent-a-phobic. I seriously had to use Lamaze breathing when Young One got a hamster. It's the first time Lamaze actually worked for me!)

We think he was trying to dig to get at the little critter who was innocently burrowing under our grass. If that's the case, well, he did a good job of it. Now, how to fix the mess?

I am the Toilet Paper Fairy

I am the CEO of our Home. The Queen of the Clean Latrine. Domestic Goddess is an understatement. I am a stay at home mom. Oh, I've been a working mom too, don't jump on me. Neither is harder than the other, but I will find that my current job comes with much less guilt than the other.

Watching Oprah yesterday, she featured "The Country's Most Hated Mom". You remember the story of the mom who was a vice principal (I think) of an elementary school. On a busy day, with her young child sleeping in the back of her car, she bypassed the daycare drop off and headed straight to work. Eight hours later, her daughter was discovered, dead of heat stroke, in the back of the car. A horrific story. A horrible accident. No one was to blame.

I'm not going to talk about the craziness of mom's lives and the busy schedules that we lead, whether working or "not" (which are you kidding me? I work all day at home!). I'm not going to go into our first thought at this story: how could you forget your child? She didn't forget her child, she was just juggling and rushing and racing and their schedule had changed (dad usually dropped off the wee ones) and a horrible, horrible thing happened. I forgive her. She will never forgive herself, so adding to that is really a waste of our time.

So, why am I writing this? Well, it's because there are so many things that we moms juggle on a daily basis. Terrible accidents like this are rare, but what happened after she told her story was so interesting. Oprah had opened an anonymous phone line to let mothers call in their stories of being overwhelmed. She shared other stories of braver women who faced the camera and talked about their insane schedules and their thinly stretched selves. They all cried out for understanding, help, sympathy, and for a chance to just vent.

I think what people don't realize is that there's only so much that our brains can handle at once, but yet, we try to cram in even more. We live in a fast-paced world and I don't think we're any better for it. Information comes at us at lightening speed, people work harder and longer than any time in the past, and crazy schedules are the norm. I'm lucky, in some respects, that I only have one child. After having five miscarriages and being denied adoption due to a medical condition, I never thought I would say that. (I guess I'm finally in the acceptance stage--yeah!) Last night, while helping with homework, I was also: cleaning the kitchen, refilling a prescription, filling out a permission slip, writing a check, writing a list, crossing off on the list, feeding the fish and the dogs, having a conversation with D about our kitchen floor, answering an email, and looking for some cough drops while trying to figure out just what a factor is so I don't look stupid when Young One asks another question and thinking that I should just sneak over to my laptop and Google "factor", but then can I really be that old that I can't remember what it is and then it comes back to me and...

Deep Breath.

Sometimes I think if you could look inside the mind of a mom you would see a whole circus spinning around with jugglers, clowns, gymnasts, daredevils, and that obligatory little girl over in the corner crying into her cotton candy because she's afraid of the clowns. The lion tamer is cracking the whip and somewhere in there is a Ringmaster who's so freaking tired of managing the whole thing that she's ready just to drop. (But, she looks good in her black pants and snappy red blazer!)

Now, back to the title. Just where did I come up with that anyway? Well, you see, it comes from just one of the many invisible jobs that I do around the house to keep it running smoothly. Oddly enough, in a house with three bathrooms, one that I rarely use, it seems that I am the only one that can change the toilet paper. Sometimes, there will be two squares on the roll, but no one has changed it (Am I alone here?). I've threatened, cajoled, nagged, but to no avail. My question of, "Could you use two squares to do the job?" has gone unanswered. Some day. SOME DAY. I am going to hide all those full rolls that are always available under the cabinet, leave the two squares on the holder and make sure not another paper product is in sight, and wait for my trap to spring. I'll be nowhere near the bathroom, but within earshot, and laugh gleefully when I hear the, "Hey, where's the toilet paper?!!"

I'm rambling again, aren't I?

I do a lot of invisible jobs. Toilet paper fairy is just one of them. Here are some more:

• Warm Feet Fiend (Bathroom Rug Cleaner) Young One thought I just "bought new or somethin' "



• Flame Thrower. (Oven cleaner) Yes, we do have an automatic one, but someone has got to wipe it out.



• Refrigerator Deep Sea Diver and Brave Explorer. I do delve into the nether regions and open containers that only a mom could look into and survive the smell. I also have been known to fight toxic spills to the death.



• Milk Maid. No matter how fast you drink it or how slow it goes, we will never go without. Your cereal is safe.



• Junk Mail Banisher. There will be no recyclable junk mail that doesn't meet my wrath.



• Dr. PooLittle. OK, I stole this from a dog poop clean up service, but it's way to cute. Yes, I do the doo, occasionally.



• Juliet the French Maid. No, not what you think, that would be too obvious. But, I do clean and make beds every day.

I'm running out of time, so I can't write more. But, I think you understand what I'm getting at. We moms juggle. When you work outside the home, you juggle even more. Sometimes it goes unnoticed all that we do and that can be extremely frustrating, but I think dads do the same. When was the last time you thanked your spouse or partner for a little thing? Maybe if we start doing that, our little things will get noticed too!

On a side note, I've tried to offer up prayers for this poor woman who lost her daughter. I get a little dumbstruck, though. I can't find the words. So, I'm just sending up some positive prayers for some healing and for some peace. Anything else, would be impossible. She was very brave to tell her story and perhaps, she can find some solace that because of her, many others will not make the same mistake.

The Housewife--One of Those Days

I woke to Young One beating on my arm, yelling, "The basement is a lake." Oh crap. I seriously took a heartbeat to think about burying my head under my pillow while wishing the world away.

When I got to the basement, my initial assessment was that all was lost, but when I looked closer it was less of a lake and more of a pond. I tried to do the I Dream of Jeannie arms-crossed-eye-blink to make it all go away. When I opened my eyes, though, it was still there. You've got to give me credit for trying! As a kid, I thought that one day my magical powers would just instantly arrive. Maybe this morning could have been the day. I'll keep working on the wink part.

I've just spent the last couple of hours soaking up water with a shop vac, throwing out the ruined stuff (which was mostly junk), and cursing the fact that I was ultimately responsible for the flood in the first place. You see, in a fit of industry yesterday, I cleaned my laundry room sinks. Not a bad idea, in theory, right? I thought that I should soak them with bleach water to get some grime off, and remembering that the water softener drains through one side of those sinks, I realized that I needed to set a timer to remind me to drain them before going to bed that night. The timer went off during dinner, a particularly busy time in all households, and I shut it off without resetting it. "I won't forget," I thought. Famous last words.

It's these little reminders of our humanity that sometimes give us pause, right? I mean, here I've been plugging along, taking care of a sick kid, juggling medicine and thermometers and laundry and trying to figure out foods that appeal to him and neck rubs and warm blankets and Popsicles and lack of sleep and doctor trips and nausea from medicine and temperatures so high I think he'll have a seizure and missing school and friends phone calls and cleaning up spaghettio's off the floor because that's what he wanted for lunch but then the dog ate most of it when he was away from his plate and then BAM. The first day back of relative normalcy around here, the day that I thought I would catch up, and God sends a curve ball.

It's moments like these that I remind myself of the importance of sometimes just surrendering to whatever it is that needs me most. These little bumps in the road remind me that I need to just let go. I didn't curse or cry, I just dug in and got the job done. So much of being an At Home Mom is just that--slogging through the days, the monotony, the repetition--it's enough to make even the most patient of people go nuts. Then there are those days when you actually stand back, hands on hips and realize, I'm making a home for my family. That's the paycheck and if I have to slog through it a few days of the year, so be it. I definitely had those days in the working world too, but these are so much more rewarding.

The pond is almost dried up and I'm thinking about using it to my advantage. There are a few things down there that just might become innocent victims of the flood. Like that box of stuffed animals that Young One just can't part with. Could I claim that unused weight bench that D just had to have as a victim too?

I'm Glad My Tupperware Cupboard is a Booby Trap and Other Reasons Why I'm Happy at Home

Being a stay at home mom can be a mundane job, but then there are those days that just rise above to be either extremely frightening in their disgusting-ness, never ending in their tasks, or just plain surprising. Today is not one of those days, but I've just got to tell you about a some of those experiences that stand out in my memory as particularly noteworthy.

• I bet you didn't know that baby mice can both travel and swim? Well, I found that out shortly after a camping trip a few summer's back. Camping is dirty work and I was just finishing sorting the mountains of laundry that we had accumulated in the woods. While shaking out our sleeping bags (a task I now know to do outside of the house!), a family of funny looking field mice shook out of one of our bags. I shuddered to think that I had been sleeping with them and panicked for a short time wondering if Young One had contracted rodent rabies or some other mouse malady from them. That proved not to be the case, however the little gray critters scattered throughout my basement in the blink of an eye. I had not only freaked myself out, but I had infested our home in less than 5 seconds. Well, I resigned myself to trapping vermin (OK, I resigned Hubby to trapping vermin) and moved on to the laundry. After washing the mouse filled sleeping bag, I noticed a little gray fuzzy thing on top of the bag in the washer. Yep, Squeaker had swum and spun through a wash cycle and sat there looking quite furious at me. It took a lot of courage to pick him up (with some old leather gloves on, thank you very much!) and take him outside. Yes, the rest were rounded up later.
• I can singlehandedly destroy my kitchen in less than five minutes. While putting away groceries, I dropped a glass jar of honey on one counter top, spilled an entire bottle of 100% organic grape juice in my refrigerator, and tripped on the dog while putting the flour canister away spreading the fine, white powder over every surface (including the honey spill). Yes, we went out for dinner that night. Yes, I almost cried. Yes, it took almost a month to remove the stickiness.
• Young One LOVES to help. And he's a great helper too, well, for the most part. I remember when he first learned how to empty the dishwasher. I used to remove the knives and he'd do his best to put everything else away. He was so proud, right before Thanksgiving as I was busily preparing for a house full of in laws, that he did it "myself." And he did, what appeared to be a great job. The doorbell rang and a girlfriend was there to help me with some of the advance cooking. We were busily wrapping up our cooking session when she opened my Tupperware cupboard to get some containers. It literally exploded with bowls and lids scattering all over the floor. Young One walked in and said, "Sorry about that mom. I couldn't figure out how to put it away except for making it a booby trap." It's still a mess, doesn't spring all over the floor anymore, but I'll never forget the booby trap.
• Eagles can mistake your dog for lunch. I really love watching the Eagles sore over our house. What an awesome sight! And for a bird that was formerly on the endangered species list, it's a real treat to see them thriving. But, please don't eat my dog. We have a timid, nervous Upper Class Mutt (yep, that's a breed, right up their with the Poopiedoodle and the Wirehaired Doxiecocker). He was out "helping" me weed the landscaping. I stopped to stretch and rest my aching back and watched a beautiful Bald Eagle soaring high up in the sky. He circled lower and lower, giving me a closer look at his bright white head. Soon, he was close enough that I could see his sharp, yellow beak. I was overjoyed. I'm a birder. I love watching birds. I love feeding birds. Hey, he's really close now and swoop, he makes a pass close enough to see his talons baring down on my Nervous Nellie of a dog. Nope, he didn't swoop Tucker up and take him for lunch. I think my speaking in strange, alarmed tongues while sort of screaming and running for my pup's rescue not only frightened him off, but solidified my backyard neighbors' opinions of me being an odd sort of person.
• Making homemade bread with a kid is really fun. Answering the doorbell with Young One's tiny flour handprints strategically placed on the front of my black t-shirt will get the Jehovah's to go preach at another house without any comment.
• Ten, ten-year-old boys can take a home from pristine to armageddon in less than ten minutes. It's the ten-ten-ten rule.
• Amoxicillin induced vomit stains never come out of carpet.

I am so very happy at home. Today I planted some flowers, cleaned my kitchen, made lunch, cleaned my kitchen, did a load of laundry, planned dinner, worked out, took Young One to cello lessons, did another load of laundry, cleaned up the kitchen again (don't ask), watered some plants, answered some emails, cleaned the kitchen again ("I'm not doing this again, YOUNG MAN!"), looked at some fireworks, chased a butterfly, looked at the garden and thought about weeding and rationalized that this wasn't a good time for weeding, got my haircut, visited a collector's store, and watched a TiVo-ed show about Meteorites sparking some very interesting discussions about the possibility of finding meteorites in the Suburbs "probably at parks". And all this, done, and it's only 2:30 in the afternoon.

The great thing is, I get to do it all and differently, tomorrow. Yes, there are days when I could just scream from the monotony, but I think that's the price I pay for having the priviledge of staying home. It's pros so outweigh the cons. I get a lot of grief from people about being a stay at home mom of one child, but these sweet summer days, I know I'm doing the right thing for my little family. Making a home is an art. Managing a home is an extremely hard job. Being at home is where I'm supposed to be.

It's great when you find your little place in the world, isn't it?