Are you Excited?

I love going on vacation. I love the freedom, the no worries, the smiles. Who doesn't love it?


But, I want to go as a man.


I don't gripe about my husband. I don't like sitting with a group of women listening to them bash their husbands in a united front of naggy bitchiness. I would never do that to D. He's just too good to me for me to be so disrespectful of him.


So, this isn't a gripe aimed directly at him. I'm aiming it at the entire species, sorry, sex. Along with the ability to pee just about anywhere you wish, getting ready for a vacation as a guy is one of the things I most envy.


My lovely neighbor asked me if I was excited about heading to Florida next week and my answer was a hesitant, yes. But, then I quantified it. "There's too much to do standing between now and then." She's one of my kind, she got it completely.


You see we women have a lot on our plates and we can keep them up on those itty bitty sticks spinning in record numbers. Guys just can't do that. And I'm OK with that. If D and I traded jobs, I would fail monumentally and he'd most likely get everything done at home, although it would happen one task at a time (and my standards would have to change.) I'm not saying I couldn't bring home the bacon, I have. But he can bring home a bigger pig than I can, so he works outside the home.


I'm definitely fine with the roles that D and I have. We're very traditional in that respect. I take care of the home, he makes the money. I'm liberal, independent, and strong, in no way the "little woman". He's right there vacuuming, cleaning, helping around the house when specifically directed OR when I have a hissy fit or don't feel good. We're a team, but I'm definitely the team captain when it comes to our home.


That brings me to why I'm not quite excited yet for our vacation. If you're a woman, you're going to completely understand this. My to do list has spread like a virus to become several volumes. My to do lists have to do lists. I have sticky notes and reminders, packing lists and lists of errands. I've got the next few days planned out better than Patton planned his battles.


By the time we leave next Wednesday, I'll have cleaned the house (because who wants to come home to a mess), done the laundry, done the laundry again, done some more laundry, packed, repacked, and reorganized the repacking, purchased anything we need, stopped the mail and the paper, figured out the timers on the lights, and figured out who's going to babysit Young One's rodent (hamster) and the fish tanks. The thermostat timer will have been reset and the library books returned. I'll have helped Young One pack more than his iPod and two Legos for his in-flight entertainment. I'll have cleaned out the refrigerator, emptied all the garbage cans, and wound the grandmother clock. I'll have fed the birds (since the bird store lady told me that's a sure sign your not home) and made sure that the neighbors all know we're not going to be around. I'll have taken the dogs to the vet for their last minute vaccinations and picked up a new comfy outfit to wear on the plane (since I have none because my clothes are too big~ insert victory dance here). I'll have refilled prescriptions, cleaned the bathrooms again, and taken the dogs to the kennel. I'll also have visited my grandmother, gone to the middle school open house, and taken Young One to play dates, orchestra, and book club. I'll have asked someone to shovel the driveway or at least drive their car on it to look like someone's home in the event of snow. I'll have tried to fit in a lunch with my mom and maybe coffee with my friends. Somewhere in there, I will have tried to sleep, waking in the night to add things to the to do list!


D will throw some shorts and t-shirts in a bag, toss in his toothbrush and razor the morning we leave and wonder why I collapse into our plane seats with a People magazine and a stricken look on my face (WHAT DID I FORGET?)


No no no, it won't be like that. By then, I will have been lulled into vacation land, having wandered the airport buying the above mentioned People magazine at an inflated price that makes me feel GREAT that I'm on vacation and I'm spending a lot on a magazine that I could have purchased before to save a few bucks, but then it wouldn't be my traditional spend too much at the airport on a magazine and gum ritual.


I guess I'd be excited right now if I was a guy. Until then, I'm off to cross some things off the lists!