Happy Weight Watchers Anniversary To Me

Well, it's been a year on Weight Watchers and I'm still hanging in there. I'm very proud of myself. I figured that if I stuck with it for a year, that completely changing my lifestyle could actually happen.

So, here I am.

Big pat on back.

A year ago today, I couldn't do a lot of things that I can do now. I'm not going to get into specifics. It's really not necessary. The fact is that just making these positive changes in my life and doing them day in and day out, despite some bumps in the road, is worth celebrating.

A year ago, I thought that I would be much closer to my goal weight than I am. Now, I know that goal was unrealistic. A year ago, I was very scared. I didn't want to fail again. Somewhere, somehow, during this year, I had a shift of mind and it became a new life.

A year ago, I was embarrassed to talk about my weight. In fact, a year ago, I was so disgusted with myself that I couldn't reach out to a soul. I wrote this blog for myself and only about 4 months ago, did I decide that I felt strong enough to connect with other people online. Those of you that I've met, I am eternally grateful for your wisdom and friendship.

A year ago, I was hungry all the time and then I learned how to effectively fuel my body. I ached from the challenge of starting to work out. A year ago, I could only do about 20 minutes of cardio and I could only lift one pound weights.

A year ago, I shed some takers from my life.

A year ago, I was so angry with myself for getting so lost and so overwhelmed and overextended with caring and giving to other people that I forgot to take care of ME. A year ago, it suddenly occurred to me that if I don't take care of ME, then I can't take care of anyone else.

Never again.

A year from now I may look back on today as having some unrealistic goals. I may regret some things and be celebrating others. But, a year from now, I will still be doing what I will for the rest of my life. I will be marching forward, slogging along if I have to. I will not give up.

I Really Need to Lighten Up

So, I'm not going to talk about politics today. I'm not even going to listen to or watch anything having to do with politics. I won't talk about the economy, McCain's or Biden's ages, or the war in Iraq.

Instead I'm just going to smile, change the channel or station, or pop my iPod on. I'm going to go for a walk, enjoy the sunshine (if it's out!), and play with my dogs. I want to talk to a friend about our kids and Paris Hilton and the PTA. I think I may bake a cake or some cookies. I feel the need to knead bread. I want to do something that's positive and happy and homey.

I think we're all in a negative mindset and if you're like me, it's been bringing you down. Let's take a break, shall we? Just for a day.

Bipartisan Brown Bread

A sweet brown bread that would do Boston proud! Serves 12 at 3 WW Points per serving

2 cups whole wheat flour
1 cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1/4 cup molasses
2 cups buttermilk

You can add raisins if you wish, but they will increase the Point value. Dates might be nice too.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour a 9x5 inch loaf pan, knocking out excess flour.
In a large bowl, whisk together whole wheat flour, all-purpose flour, baking soda, and brown sugar. Mix in molasses and buttermilk until just combined. Pour batter into prepared pan.
Bake for one hour, or until done. Cool on a wire rack for 5 minutes, and then remove from pan. Cool completely before slicing.
In my pre-WW days I would have served this with honey butter. I need to figure out a way to lighten that treat up!

The Five--Abbreviated

I really only have time to talk about books this week. I'm still not watching much TV, unless I TiVo it so I can fast forward through the commercials. Instead, in the evenings, we read. Here you go.

The Host by Stephanie Meyer

I've read Meyer's Twilight series books. I found them quick, easy reads. Just light, fluffy young adult novels. Entertaining, but great beach reads or an easy escape read. This one was very different. A much deeper story, with more mature themes. The Host is Invasion of the Body Snatchers, sort of. It's several years after a parasitic alien species has invaded earth. The Souls need host bodies to survive and have been doing so for all of time. They arrive on a planet and take over their host's bodies and live like the former inhabitants do, but with slight differences. On Earth, Melanie, Jared, and Jamie are some of the last Soul-free human inhabitants, when Melanie is caught. She is inhabited by a Soul, called Wanderer. Usually, the host being disappears, but Melanie hangs on, becoming a strong voice in Wanderer's head. In fact, she's still there so much that Wanderer starts to love and feel strongly for the people that Melanie loved when she was the soul inhabitant of the body. She begins to engage Melanie in conversation and she begins to empathize with Melanie and the other humans. Melanie's crazy uncle was a survivalist and had given her a map to his hideout. Wanderer follows this map and becomes entrenched with a group of surviving humans. Her struggles at befriending the humans are among the least of her problems.

It's an engaging read. I loved the inside view of the alien beings and would have liked to hear more about how the humans reacted when they first arrived. I grew up with two brothers who were huge SciFi fans, so I'm a bit of a fan myself--I didn't have much choice, they controlled the TV remote! This book doesn't disappoint. Meyer is a talented writer. I hope that she delves into some adult fiction, with more elaborate themes, soon.

Southern Fried by Cathey Pickens

I don't think I've read a mystery since high school. I mean a paperback, relatively predictable, mystery full of quirky characters and slight plot twists. I mean the kind of book that you can read while the TV is blaring a Cartoon Network show or one that you can read while in the pick up lane at school with the car radio on. Well, this is that book. I wanted a quick read. I've been reading books that are close to one thousand pages and I just needed a break. I'm not going to bother with the plot line. Just wanted to mention, that every once in a while, you've just got to read something that's not on the New York Times Best Sellers List. (Maybe this was? If so, I beg the author's humble forgiveness.)

I'm a library girl. Rarely do I purchase a book, except as a real treat or perhaps a cookbook or a reference book or travel guide. I don't reread novels and I found that most of the time that I would lend out a novel, I would never see it again. (One person actually told me that they took all of the books I "lent" them to a used book store for credit!) So, to me, purchasing a novel wasn't worth the money. I did have a really good friend give me a novel once for a birthday gift. It was a hardcover, currently on the NY Times Best Sellers List. What a nice treat! Cheapskate that I am, I think that's the last full price book that I've owned (that was 7 years ago!) She always is really good at giving presents!

Every once in a while, you've got to wander the library and just come home with something different. It's good for your thinker.

I am the Toilet Paper Fairy

I am the CEO of our Home. The Queen of the Clean Latrine. Domestic Goddess is an understatement. I am a stay at home mom. Oh, I've been a working mom too, don't jump on me. Neither is harder than the other, but I will find that my current job comes with much less guilt than the other.

Watching Oprah yesterday, she featured "The Country's Most Hated Mom". You remember the story of the mom who was a vice principal (I think) of an elementary school. On a busy day, with her young child sleeping in the back of her car, she bypassed the daycare drop off and headed straight to work. Eight hours later, her daughter was discovered, dead of heat stroke, in the back of the car. A horrific story. A horrible accident. No one was to blame.

I'm not going to talk about the craziness of mom's lives and the busy schedules that we lead, whether working or "not" (which are you kidding me? I work all day at home!). I'm not going to go into our first thought at this story: how could you forget your child? She didn't forget her child, she was just juggling and rushing and racing and their schedule had changed (dad usually dropped off the wee ones) and a horrible, horrible thing happened. I forgive her. She will never forgive herself, so adding to that is really a waste of our time.

So, why am I writing this? Well, it's because there are so many things that we moms juggle on a daily basis. Terrible accidents like this are rare, but what happened after she told her story was so interesting. Oprah had opened an anonymous phone line to let mothers call in their stories of being overwhelmed. She shared other stories of braver women who faced the camera and talked about their insane schedules and their thinly stretched selves. They all cried out for understanding, help, sympathy, and for a chance to just vent.

I think what people don't realize is that there's only so much that our brains can handle at once, but yet, we try to cram in even more. We live in a fast-paced world and I don't think we're any better for it. Information comes at us at lightening speed, people work harder and longer than any time in the past, and crazy schedules are the norm. I'm lucky, in some respects, that I only have one child. After having five miscarriages and being denied adoption due to a medical condition, I never thought I would say that. (I guess I'm finally in the acceptance stage--yeah!) Last night, while helping with homework, I was also: cleaning the kitchen, refilling a prescription, filling out a permission slip, writing a check, writing a list, crossing off on the list, feeding the fish and the dogs, having a conversation with D about our kitchen floor, answering an email, and looking for some cough drops while trying to figure out just what a factor is so I don't look stupid when Young One asks another question and thinking that I should just sneak over to my laptop and Google "factor", but then can I really be that old that I can't remember what it is and then it comes back to me and...

Deep Breath.

Sometimes I think if you could look inside the mind of a mom you would see a whole circus spinning around with jugglers, clowns, gymnasts, daredevils, and that obligatory little girl over in the corner crying into her cotton candy because she's afraid of the clowns. The lion tamer is cracking the whip and somewhere in there is a Ringmaster who's so freaking tired of managing the whole thing that she's ready just to drop. (But, she looks good in her black pants and snappy red blazer!)

Now, back to the title. Just where did I come up with that anyway? Well, you see, it comes from just one of the many invisible jobs that I do around the house to keep it running smoothly. Oddly enough, in a house with three bathrooms, one that I rarely use, it seems that I am the only one that can change the toilet paper. Sometimes, there will be two squares on the roll, but no one has changed it (Am I alone here?). I've threatened, cajoled, nagged, but to no avail. My question of, "Could you use two squares to do the job?" has gone unanswered. Some day. SOME DAY. I am going to hide all those full rolls that are always available under the cabinet, leave the two squares on the holder and make sure not another paper product is in sight, and wait for my trap to spring. I'll be nowhere near the bathroom, but within earshot, and laugh gleefully when I hear the, "Hey, where's the toilet paper?!!"

I'm rambling again, aren't I?

I do a lot of invisible jobs. Toilet paper fairy is just one of them. Here are some more:

• Warm Feet Fiend (Bathroom Rug Cleaner) Young One thought I just "bought new or somethin' "



• Flame Thrower. (Oven cleaner) Yes, we do have an automatic one, but someone has got to wipe it out.



• Refrigerator Deep Sea Diver and Brave Explorer. I do delve into the nether regions and open containers that only a mom could look into and survive the smell. I also have been known to fight toxic spills to the death.



• Milk Maid. No matter how fast you drink it or how slow it goes, we will never go without. Your cereal is safe.



• Junk Mail Banisher. There will be no recyclable junk mail that doesn't meet my wrath.



• Dr. PooLittle. OK, I stole this from a dog poop clean up service, but it's way to cute. Yes, I do the doo, occasionally.



• Juliet the French Maid. No, not what you think, that would be too obvious. But, I do clean and make beds every day.

I'm running out of time, so I can't write more. But, I think you understand what I'm getting at. We moms juggle. When you work outside the home, you juggle even more. Sometimes it goes unnoticed all that we do and that can be extremely frustrating, but I think dads do the same. When was the last time you thanked your spouse or partner for a little thing? Maybe if we start doing that, our little things will get noticed too!

On a side note, I've tried to offer up prayers for this poor woman who lost her daughter. I get a little dumbstruck, though. I can't find the words. So, I'm just sending up some positive prayers for some healing and for some peace. Anything else, would be impossible. She was very brave to tell her story and perhaps, she can find some solace that because of her, many others will not make the same mistake.

Dancing with the...Yawns

I'm sorry, I know I'm possibly offending many readers and that the following declaration could quite possibly mark me as un-American, but I've just got to get it out.

I HATE DANCING WITH THE STARS.

I've tried, really I have. I've watched it. I've learned new words like Paso Doble. I've watched football heroes twinkle their toes. I've listened to recaps on every ABC talk show, news show, and commercial break until I'm ready to throw my thirty year old tap shoes at the screen.

I just don't get it.

It's not that I'm opposed to dancing. It's not that I don't like watching B-list celebrities do the Jive.

I think it's, perhaps, the nature of the this genre of reality tv. I mean, come on, do we really need buffoons like David Hasselhoff to judge whether people have talent? Have you seen the Hoff act, or worse yet, sing? And yet, he's the standard that all victims, I mean contestants, of America's Got Talent have got to weigh themselves against. How many shows do we need depicting amateurs getting their hearts wrenched out on national TV? How many times do we need to see a sports star awkwardly maneuver their athletic frame hoping not to crush their partner while appearing sadly graceful? How many aging actors do we need to see dressed in sequined outfits that Sigfried and Roy wouldn't have touched? Just how did a Kardashian become a celebrity? Do we really need to see tabloid type criticism of these people? Do we really need another reality show anyway?

Lately all I see when I turn on the TV is negative campaign ads, graphics depicting our nation's economy spiraling down to oblivion, and Dancing with the Stars reviews. I've had it up to here with reality.

What I want is less reality and more fantasy. Our country is just crying out for a really good comedy. You know, someone in the realm of Lucy or Roseanne. Maybe a Seinfeld or a Tim Taylor. We need to laugh.

Argue with me if you will, but don't make me watch that show, don't make me listen to recaps, and please spare me the commercials for it. I just can't take it anymore.

The Housewife--One of Those Days

I woke to Young One beating on my arm, yelling, "The basement is a lake." Oh crap. I seriously took a heartbeat to think about burying my head under my pillow while wishing the world away.

When I got to the basement, my initial assessment was that all was lost, but when I looked closer it was less of a lake and more of a pond. I tried to do the I Dream of Jeannie arms-crossed-eye-blink to make it all go away. When I opened my eyes, though, it was still there. You've got to give me credit for trying! As a kid, I thought that one day my magical powers would just instantly arrive. Maybe this morning could have been the day. I'll keep working on the wink part.

I've just spent the last couple of hours soaking up water with a shop vac, throwing out the ruined stuff (which was mostly junk), and cursing the fact that I was ultimately responsible for the flood in the first place. You see, in a fit of industry yesterday, I cleaned my laundry room sinks. Not a bad idea, in theory, right? I thought that I should soak them with bleach water to get some grime off, and remembering that the water softener drains through one side of those sinks, I realized that I needed to set a timer to remind me to drain them before going to bed that night. The timer went off during dinner, a particularly busy time in all households, and I shut it off without resetting it. "I won't forget," I thought. Famous last words.

It's these little reminders of our humanity that sometimes give us pause, right? I mean, here I've been plugging along, taking care of a sick kid, juggling medicine and thermometers and laundry and trying to figure out foods that appeal to him and neck rubs and warm blankets and Popsicles and lack of sleep and doctor trips and nausea from medicine and temperatures so high I think he'll have a seizure and missing school and friends phone calls and cleaning up spaghettio's off the floor because that's what he wanted for lunch but then the dog ate most of it when he was away from his plate and then BAM. The first day back of relative normalcy around here, the day that I thought I would catch up, and God sends a curve ball.

It's moments like these that I remind myself of the importance of sometimes just surrendering to whatever it is that needs me most. These little bumps in the road remind me that I need to just let go. I didn't curse or cry, I just dug in and got the job done. So much of being an At Home Mom is just that--slogging through the days, the monotony, the repetition--it's enough to make even the most patient of people go nuts. Then there are those days when you actually stand back, hands on hips and realize, I'm making a home for my family. That's the paycheck and if I have to slog through it a few days of the year, so be it. I definitely had those days in the working world too, but these are so much more rewarding.

The pond is almost dried up and I'm thinking about using it to my advantage. There are a few things down there that just might become innocent victims of the flood. Like that box of stuffed animals that Young One just can't part with. Could I claim that unused weight bench that D just had to have as a victim too?

The Housewife--Stretch a Buck

Saving pennies were never more important than they are today. Don't get me started on the economy (thank you very much W for giving us this parting gift from your reign) I like to shop at Aldi for some (not all) of my groceries. Staples are staples and the brand name does not matter to me. They have a ton of organic products and many healthy alternatives. You just have to look past some of the convenience foods (which I ignore at the grocery store too) and some of the inconveniences (like bringing your own bags, which I do anyway, and possibly long lines because they keep only a small number of employees on at a given time).

Some of my favorite products there:

• Bacon wrapped turkey tenderloins. Very Weight Watchers friendly and inexpensive. Delicious grilled, broiled, or pan-fried. I like to glaze with a little Aldi BBQ sauce before serving. They come individually wrapped and can be cooked from frozen if you forget to defrost them. They also have a pop up timer thing to insure that they're cooked to the right temperature.



• Speaking of BBQ sauce. Their brand is fat free and comes in a number of flavors. We like the honey flavor.



• Their cereals are great and most are under $2 a box.



• Aldi has a version of Fiber One bars that taste just like the original at half the price. A really great yummy treat.



• Their fish and shrimp cannot be beat for taste and price. Now, I'm going to put a disclaimer here, I do not know how they are caught. I haven't looked into how it's fished or any of that, so perhaps if I do so I won't feel so good about it. But, right now, I have to sacrifice some of that in the interest of cost saving. A pound of salmon fillets is only $4. Almost 2 pounds of Tilapia for under $3. Prices do vary, but I've found their frozen seafood to be an exceptional value.



• Flour, sugar, brown sugar, canola oil, cocoa, REAL vanilla (not imitation), real semi-sweet chocolate chips, sea salt, roasted minced garlic, mustard (all kinds), ketchup, vinegars, salad dressings, spreadable fruit, tortillas, rice, organic soy milk, 100% grape juice (both white and purple), spaetzel and other specialty noodles and other German gourmet products, Aldi brand "Eggbeaters", turkey bacon, huge whole roasting hens ($0.79 per pound!), Cornish game hens, tender frozen baby green beans, whole frozen asparagus (better than fresh!), canned fruit and veggies (the canned baby peas rival any premium canned peas at the grocery store!), canned mushrooms, and Aldi brand "Skinny Cow" ice cream sandwiches (which are so much better than the original, but with the same calorie count), Imitation lobster and crab sticks (great for lunches and snacks), premium lunch meats, super lean ground beef-- these are just some of the things I find there that I LOVE.

An overflowing cart of Aldi products usually is under $100. I like to see if I can stay under $25 a bag at any grocery store--and I'm always way under this at Aldi. Try to beat that at a regular grocery store. I have a son who can eat a box of cereal in two days. He will eat a pound of lunch meat in about the same time. They offer many Weight Watchers friendly products and specialty items vary. In the past, I've purchased real Grade A maple syrup for a quarter of what I've paid in the grocery store. I purchased some delicious spaetzel there last year (and I noticed it's on sale this week again) and added it to homemade chicken soup. It was wonderful!

I think it's hard to change brands for a lot of people. I understand that, but right now, we all have to be really conscious of where our money is going. A box of macaroni is a box of macaroni, why spend more? Most of the time it's packaged in the same factory as a name brand product. I had a friend in college who used to work in a name brand vegetable canning plant. She said that the only thing that was different about the products was the label. Dirty little secret of the industry, huh?

I don't like to spend money if I don't have to and this really works for my family. Yes, you are going to find products that you don't like, but don't give up on Aldi or any generic products if one or two don't work for you. Keep at it and enjoy the fruits of your labors!!!$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!