Dancing with the...Yawns

I'm sorry, I know I'm possibly offending many readers and that the following declaration could quite possibly mark me as un-American, but I've just got to get it out.

I HATE DANCING WITH THE STARS.

I've tried, really I have. I've watched it. I've learned new words like Paso Doble. I've watched football heroes twinkle their toes. I've listened to recaps on every ABC talk show, news show, and commercial break until I'm ready to throw my thirty year old tap shoes at the screen.

I just don't get it.

It's not that I'm opposed to dancing. It's not that I don't like watching B-list celebrities do the Jive.

I think it's, perhaps, the nature of the this genre of reality tv. I mean, come on, do we really need buffoons like David Hasselhoff to judge whether people have talent? Have you seen the Hoff act, or worse yet, sing? And yet, he's the standard that all victims, I mean contestants, of America's Got Talent have got to weigh themselves against. How many shows do we need depicting amateurs getting their hearts wrenched out on national TV? How many times do we need to see a sports star awkwardly maneuver their athletic frame hoping not to crush their partner while appearing sadly graceful? How many aging actors do we need to see dressed in sequined outfits that Sigfried and Roy wouldn't have touched? Just how did a Kardashian become a celebrity? Do we really need to see tabloid type criticism of these people? Do we really need another reality show anyway?

Lately all I see when I turn on the TV is negative campaign ads, graphics depicting our nation's economy spiraling down to oblivion, and Dancing with the Stars reviews. I've had it up to here with reality.

What I want is less reality and more fantasy. Our country is just crying out for a really good comedy. You know, someone in the realm of Lucy or Roseanne. Maybe a Seinfeld or a Tim Taylor. We need to laugh.

Argue with me if you will, but don't make me watch that show, don't make me listen to recaps, and please spare me the commercials for it. I just can't take it anymore.