Little Butt

When I was a little girl, my dad called me Little Butt. I think the nickname actually originated from a cousin who couldn't say Elizabeth. I'm sure everyone thought it was quite cute at the time. Somehow, only with my dad, the nickname stuck. And he still called me that when, ironically, my butt wasn't so little anymore.

It's amazing how your perception of yourself can change over the years. Sorting through my closet recently, I noticed a great number of items that I haven't even worn yet. They were all purchased in sizes that are too small for me. I didn't buy them with the intention of wearing them when I lost a few pounds. They weren't extreme bargains that I just couldn't pass up. They were purchased thinking that they were the right size for me.

I'm always struck at the shock of seeing myself in a mirror at the mall or catching a glimpse of myself in a shop window. Who is that person standing so close to me? And then, I realize, it's me. I don't know how it happened and yet, there I stand. It's the same thing with snapshots. While I try to avoid cameras whenever possible, there are a few photos of me that are particularly eye opening. In fact, really seeing one for the first time is what prompted me to start losing weight.

There I am on the beach with my husband and son at my favorite place to escape to: Sanibel Island. And I'm enormous. I mean, even my elbows are huge--how does that happen? This is definitely my before picture. And I'll share it--once I have a really good after to show!

Anyway, I've got the before pictures and I have a couple of items of clothing that I just can't wait to get into. But, what keeps me going, is hearing my dad call me Little Butt again. And, while my dad has been gone three years now, I know that once I reach my goal, I'll hear it again, if only in my mind.