Dear Skinny Chicks,
This has to be said. I can't contain myself anymore. You look at me with your haughty superiority, holding your decaf skim latte to your side as you stare at my grocery store purchases while we wait to check out. I can read your thoughts.
You think, I did this to myself. That it's not because of the bad luck of inheriting fat genes. You know that it's because I sit night after night with my spoon rocketing back and forth between my mouth and a pint of Ben and Jerrys, even though there is no Ben and Jerrys in my cart.
For that matter, there has never been any Ben and Jerrys in my cart. I eat very healthy food. People are sometimes very surprised by that. That I love vegetables, don't eat fried food, and that my cholesterol is on the low end of normal.
I've seen you before. At the gym, at school functions, wherever I may wander. And you're all the same, same, same. The deep sigh of your attitude. I can't even meet your eyes.
There is nothing you can say or think that's any worse than anything that I've said to myself. There is no critical look or scrutiny that you can give me that I haven't already given myself. You see, we fat chicks wound ourselves every day with our thoughts, our avoidance of interactions, and our inability to just be who we are. We beat ourselves up daily. And so there's nothing you can do or say that will hurt worse than that.
Many of us work out daily. We lead active and fulfilling lives. We have loved ones, close families and friends. And we didn't get fat just from sitting around stuffing our faces. You see, the truth is, getting fat kind of sneaks up on you. You avoid facing it as much as possible. You hide behind bigger clothes and avoid even looking at those brands that you don't fit into anymore. You quit tucking in your shirt, but you don't really even notice that since it's much more comfortable not to.
I think the reason I'm writing to you, Skinny Chicks, is because I'm so tired of you making me feel worse than I already do about my body. I figured that if I just brought this out in the open, perhaps you would realize that what you are doing is in no way helpful to someone like me. In fact, it's really counterproductive. So, I've decided to just let you know, that we fat chicks aren't going to stand for it anymore.
And here's why: an ugly attitude is so much more ugly than my fat thighs. And judging someone based on their size is not only shallow, but perpetuates misunderstanding between people who are different from each other. And let's face it, we're all different.
So, instead of holding yourself superior, why don't you smile and say hello to me. Why don't you talk about the high price of groceries or make a joke about one of the tabloids? Why don't you mention the good old days when there were people who helped bag your food? Why don't you take a moment to try to connect with someone, bridge the gap? You might just find out that you like me and you might just find out how much I work out, exercise, and try to be active. You might just find out that it's you that has a problem reaching out--and maybe that's why you stand with your attitude.
I don't mean to be bitter. I know that most of this is my perception of what, for you, might be just a glancing look. And if that's it, I apologise. But, if it's not, then know I see you for what you are. And there's nothing worse than that.
A Fat Chick
Taking a little time to play with words, to play with food, and just to play!