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Thursday, January 29, 2009

I AM an Athlete
Competive Mopping Anyone?

Why can't I get a cool injury? I mean, like a torn something or other from making the final goal in a playoff hockey game. I'd even take Tennis Elbow, whatever the heck that is. No, me, I pull some muscle in my butt while vacuuming. I'm in serious pain and yet, I'm laughing. This has to go away on it's own because I simply cannot go to the doctor and tell him what's hurting and how I did it.

If you must know, the pain started early this morning when I walked across our family room. Yep, I'm talented enough to injure myself just walking. I was rushing around looking for something to send with Young One to his class garage sale today. Yes, he knew all about it last night, and yes, we could have done this earlier, but we like to leave things for 4 minutes before the bus is coming, when lunch isn't made yet because I forgot about it last night, and Young One's stuff is scattered all over the house. I finally found a card game to send along and in my rush to stuff it in his backpack while he was trying to run out the door to the bus stop, I felt a little lurch. "I don't have time for this," I thought. I had errands to run and the house to clean, laundry to do, and a ton of paperwork to catch up on. There were library books that needed to be returned, a couple of letters to be sent, and I needed to drop off a donation at the food shelf.

I headed out to run my errands, hitting the grocery store last. It's funny how there's not much time in Minnesota that is ideal to leave your groceries in the car for any length of time. Summer is too hot, winter is too cold (frozen lettuce is not delightfully crisp). You've got to plan the timing on these errands and the grocery store is always last on my list. Anyway, I was picking up a few things, including a ginormous bag of dog food, when I felt another twinge. "Nope, not going to give in," I thought. As I sped through the rest of the aisles, it was getting more and more painful to walk. Crap.

Remember the good old days when they unloaded your cart for you, bagged your groceries, and carried them out to your car all for much cheaper prices than we're paying today? Well, I don't shop at a store that still does that. Yes, I'm a cheapskate and I guess I could have asked for help at the store because they will help you if you ask, but I was too embarrassed to admit that I hurt my butt. I can just imagine in the lawsuit happy society that we live in that if I would have admitted my injury, they would have called an ambulance. Imagining my red face when they overhead paged, "butt injury aisle 2". I soldiered on.

Groceries in the car, home again, and hauling everything in, putting everything away, sweating, cursing, but not because my butt hurt again. Sweating and cursing are part of my routine of getting the groceries home and put away. I figured it was just a passing pain because it was just a twinge at that point. Onward and upward!

I needed to get some laundry tumbling and vacuum the whole house. Down to the basement, then up two flights to the upper story to start vacuuming. Vacuum down the stairs and into the kitchen, breakfast area and family room. I'm in the home stretch. Alanis is screaming through the acoustic version of Jagged Little Pill on my iPod and I'm loving it. Thank you Alanis for giving me angry music to clean by, it gets me through. One last room and I'm done and can have a late lunch.

Snap. Rip. Burn. Howl. I broke my butt. I quit.

Now, I'm a RN. I know I didn't really break my butt and this has to be just a passing thing. But, grrrrrr. I have so much to do and it all involves moving. Right now, I can't do much of anything. It's funny how this works, right. Just when you think you've got it all planned out, WHAMMY, God hits you with a curve ball. I'm going to use it to my advantage and do some of my sit down jobs. Now please, God, clear this up for me so that I don't have to go show my doctor my butt. I don't think I could stand the humiliation!


1 comment:

  1. I have also broken my butt and since the first time it bothers me pretty much all the time :)

    I now keep a vaccum on every level of my house. Carrying that thing KILLS ME!!

    I hope you feel better soon.


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