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Friday, January 30, 2009

I Wish the Scale Would Lie

I blabbed on and on about how when on vacation one should just enjoy oneself and forget about counting Points, etc. I still agree with that. Well, I'm paying for it. The scale was really depressing this morning. Nope, depressing is the wrong word. It was honest. Time to get back on track.

I did enjoy myself on vacation, including NOT counting Weight Watchers Points for everything that I put into my mouth. We were very active, walked miles and miles every day, but apparently not active enough.

Time for some tough love or better yet, honest appraisal. I have not been working the Weight Watchers program for a few weeks now. I'm not mad at myself. I'm not giving up, resigning myself to this weight, this body. I'm not sad. I really don't want to give into that feeling of failure that causes so many people just to say, the hell with it.

For over a year now, I've been trying a different approach. Self love sounds too New Age or pornographic to me. But, that's pretty much what it is. I'm not going to beat myself up for a number that a box of springs flashes at me. It's just not in me anymore to be hard on myself. I'm worth more than that.

Admitting the truth is so much easier. I haven't been measuring my food, I haven't been counting Points. I haven't been formally working out. Back on track, back on the wagon, whatever you want to call it, that's where I am right now.

I can't imagine a life of constantly measuring my food, but at this point, I can't imagine a life still at the size I am. So, I guess if I need to measure my food til the end of time, that's what I need to do.

On a related note, I would like to know why it is physically possible to gain a big number of pounds in a short time period, but that it takes three times as long to take that same number of pounds off. I don't want a scientific explanation for this, I'd just like to know, WHY? As in, kicking, screaming, three year old tantrum-like fit, drawn out, whining, WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEE?

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